Office by Alex Penny
"You must have a good story... otherwise it's just masturbation."
MYSPACE
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Yeah. That happened to me. Moral of this story: Never stop applying for jobs.
(via pretend--relive-regret)
Want.
(Source: motherlion, via -rockyraccoon)
I am SO missing half-price happy hour.
(Source: mugglesex, via dirtyatmosphere)
Leaving my mark at Cadillac Ranch.
—
Katniss “The Hunger Games”1. Chimay Bleue Grande Réserve
2. Rochefort 10
3. La Trappe Quadrupel
4. Lindeman’s Pêche Lambic
5. Pauwel Kwak
6. Rince Cochon
7. Delirium Tremens
—
Queen“I never get enough sleep. I stay up late at night, cause I’m Night Guy. Night Guy wants to stay up late. ‘What about getting up after five hours sleep?’, oh that’s Morning Guy’s problem. That’s not my problem, I’m Night Guy. I stay up as late as I want. So you get up in the morning, you’re alarm, you’re exhausted, groggy, oooh you hate that Night Guy! See, Night Guy always screws Morning Guy. There’s nothing Morning Guy can do. The only thing Morning Guy can do is try and oversleep often enough so that Day Guy looses his job and Night Guy has no money to go out anymore.”
The best commercial EVER for the Cosmopolitan Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas!
Seinfeld - “The Parking Garage”
JERRY: You should always carry a pad and pen.
GEORGE: I can’t carry a pen. I’m afraid I’ll puncture my scrotum.
KRAMER: I have a pen.
(via dailyseinfeld)
